Tim Burton's The Breakfast Club
by SuperBatLanternFlash
Summary: A Dead Guy, A Scientist (sort of), A Groom, A Dreamer, and An Outcast must spend detention together for 7 hours. Little do they know they will learn more than they think they will…


I do not own the characters created by Tim Burton or the story to The Breakfast Club

Chapter 1: Introduction

Dear Mr Bloom

We accept the fact that we had to spend our Saturday in the "Fictional Character Detention Centre" for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think it's pretty stupid asking us to write a 1000 word paper about who we are. We see us as you want us to see ourselves. Sure you may just see a dead guy, a scientist (sort of), a groom, a dreamer, and an outcast, but we see something in us that shows us we're actually the same person. Does that answer your question?...

Crime and punishment works very differently in the fictional character universe, sometimes you go to jail if what you did was very serious but if it's only minor you get detention. Sure it sounds a bit ridiculous but it was a pretty powerful thing to do, the course has had big success in the past and today was no exception. Today the centre would see 5 Tim Burton characters "doing time" as they called it for crimes they committed in their universe, only 3 people entered the room at first but at least it wasn't just 2 people like when the Quentin Tarantino characters had to serve detention. The 3 people sat down at 1 table each not talking to each other, it took a while but eventually one of them named "Victor Van Dort" decided to start a conversation with one of the other people. He stood up and went to the first table he found.

Victor: Is this seat taken?

Jack: I guess not

Victor: Great

Victor sat down next to the man named "Jack Skellington"

Victor: So, what's your name?

Jack: I'M JACK SKELINGTON, THE PUMPKIN KING!

...

Victor: Ok

Jack: Sorry, I sometimes do that

Victor: If I was a king I'd probably do the same thing

Jack: What's your name?

Victor: Victor Van Dort of the van Dort family

Jack: Great...I have no idea who they are

Victor: My family's in the fish business

Jack: Fish huh? That's...something

Victor: Do you happen to know who the man in the lab coat is over there?

They both look other to see a man in a white lab coat, black rubber gloves, and messed up hair sleeping on the table near them

Jack: No I don't believe I know him

Victor: Do you think he's friendly?

Jack: Well judging by the fact that he looks like a mad scientist and could possibly snap at any second...I'll say he may be friendly

Victor: I'm going over to talk to him

Jack: Ok Victor, it's your funeral...ah funerals

Victor went over to the mad looking guy and sat next to him, Victor proceeded to tap him on the shoulder

Victor: Excuse me?

The man woke up from his slumber and stared at him

Victor: I'm Victor, what's your name?

Vincent: Vincent

Victor: So Vincent, are you a doctor?

Vincent: I tried being a doctor once, it didn't work out and I almost made a man explode

Victor: O...K? So I'll take it you're a scientist then?

Vincent: Was it the lab coat that gave it away?

Victor: I suppose so

Vincent: Well I wouldn't call myself a mad scientist, I prefer to be called a prodigy

Victor: Have you invented anything?

Vincent: I've made multiple things, I successfully turned my dog into a werewolf like creature

…

Victor: Right well, I should go back over there actually

Vincent: OK then

Victor went back to Jack's table, suddenly the door opened with multiple scratch marks on the door and the doorknob. A man who looked crazier than Vincent and who also had scissors for hands walked in the room and took a seat at the very back of the room, everybody just stared at him as he sat at the table and slammed his head on the desk. Finally a man in a striped suit then walked in and he appeared to be covered in sand.

Beetlejuice: Hello gentlemen, let's get this day over with shall we?

He went to the middle of the tables and slammed his feet up on the desk clearly not caring about anything, a man in a normal looking suit then walked in with a clipboard and a red pen. He stood at the front of the room and looked at everyone

Edward: Now before you all go pissing yourselves trying to figure out who I am, I'm the guy who's going to be watching you for the time you're here. It is now 7:06 and you have exactly 8 hours to figure out why you are here

Jack: If I can cut in sir I really don't think I belong here...

Edward: Quiet pile of bones

Beetlejuice: You're acting a lot different Bloom, what ever happened to the nice you that used to be around?

Edward: I guess you could say looking at you lot has changed me, I've seen guys like you pass through every week and none of you are the same...ever! So who knows why they are here?

Beetlejuice put up his hands almost straight away

Beetlejuice: I believe that I'm here because I was creating art and I wouldn't be silenced

Edward: Well no, you're here for disturbing the sand worms in your area

Beetlejuice: But he ate me! I don't think it deserves a detention

Edward: Well you also illegally fed him so that just adds. Now you, boney, do you know why you're here?

Jack: Because I saved Christmas?

Edward: No, for disruption of a local holiday that wasn't your own

Jack: But Santa and I are all good now

Edward: You could be dating the Easter Bunny for all I care, you still disturbed a holiday and you're lucky this isn't going any further

Jack: Fine, but I don't find this very fair

Edward: Try having to beat up a fish to get your wedding ring, that's not fair. Now Victor do you know why you're here?

Victor: No, they just told me to come here during the middle of my wedding

Edward: You're being charged with necrophilia

Victor: But I never did anything with Emily

Edward: Marrying the dead isn't allowed, you should know this by now for a man of your age

Victor: I didn't even want to marry her, it was an accident

Edward: Don't care, you're here now and you aren't leaving. Is Edward here?

Everybody looks behind them to see Edward's head on the table, he slowly lifts his head and looks at him

Edward B: Do you know why you're here?

Edward didn't respond and just stared at him

Edward B: Manslaughter, we really wanted to take this further but considering your history this is your warning

Edward S: I'm sorry

Edward B: We all are kid. And finally is Vincent Maloy here?

Vincent: Yep

Edward: I want all of you to look at this 7 year old, he's done some weird things and not to mention identity theft

Vincent: I didn't steal any identity, I stole the body of Vincent Price and that's it

Edward S: Isn't he dead?

Vincent: Well let's just say that he may or may not be dead right now

Edward B: I don't want to know, anyway since we're all here I'm going to inform you on the rules. You are not allowed to leave this room, you are not allowed to talk in this room, and you are not allowed to sleep. And when I say that I'm talking to you knife board

Edward S: You're mean

Edward B: And I'm human, we all have pros and cons. I'll be right across the hall so nobody try anything stupid, remember if you mess with the Bloom you get the Bull and if you mess with the Bull you get the horns. Any questions?

Beetlejuice: Yeah. I have a question. Do you need me to possess or kill anybody for you right now?

Edward B: Ah Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetle…nice try but it won't work. Anyway before I leave I thought we'd try something a bit different today. I want you all to write in 1000 word who you think you actually are, and when I say 1000 words I don't mean the same word 1000 times…or your name 3 times for that matter. Remember, Bloom…Bull…Horns!

Edward handed out the sheets of paper with pencils and left the room going straight to the office that was across the hall, everybody sat there in silence not really knowing what to do

Beetlejuice: Oh shit! What are we supposed to do when we need to pee?

Beetlejuice then stood up and unzipped his fly ready to pee

Jack: That's disgusting!

Beetlejuice: Don't talk, it makes it crawl back up

Vincent: You'll be dead before one drop hits the floor

Beetlejuice: I'm already dead, you can't make me die more

Beetlejuice then started peeing and a very loud hissing noise could be heard, when he was done everybody saw a giant hole in the floor

Victor: Well…this is going to be a long 8 hours


End file.
